I have made it a policy to always speak of people in the third person on this blog, and never to use a person's name. But today, I'm making an exception. This blog is dedicated to my friend *****, who is just the latest in a string of friends to tell me that I need to sign up for Facebook because she can't be bothered to read my blog. Apparently, it is terribly inconvenient for her to use any method other than Facesbook for staying in touch. As a bet of sorts, I promised her that if she would leave a comment on my blog, that I would remove her name from the posting. I doubt it will happen.
I have never looked at the Facebook website. I am anything but an expert on the subject. But from what I gather, it is a place where you can group all of your web contacts together on one page. Then as your contacts add diary entries or photos, you can see all of their updates at once on one page, making it easy and convenient for you to keep track of your friends and their daily lives.
On the face of it (no pun intended) it sounds like a good idea and I can see how this might be useful in certain situations. But here's the problem - I believe that instead of using Facebook as an additional tool to maintain contacts with folks they might only speak to rarely, people are using Facebook as the primary way to maintain their friendships. Facebook people have decided that rather than to reach out to the people they love, that they would rather sit back and let everyone come to them. They don't have to call, write, read a blog, or even send an email. Instead, they can maintain their friendships passively, without lifting a finger to reach out to anyone.
Now, if any of you Facebook people believe I am wrong about this, I'm listening. But so far, I have not heard anyone explain it to me in a better way.
This weekend, I promised myself that I would sit down with my address book (okay my address spreadsheet) and call all of the people that I feel have been missing from my life lately. One of the people on my list was Kelli, who when asked if she ever read my blog, told me that although she saved it in her list of favorites, that she had not read it in months. Then in the same breath she said, "You should get on Facebook." After hearing this a dozen times from other people, I had had it. At that point, I pretty much had a conniption fit right there on the phone and I let her have it (with love of course).
After listening to my, "I'm sick of hearing about Facebook" speech, her only response to me was, "But I've found people that I went to Elementary School with." To which I replied, "And they are the same people who you didn't care enough about to maintain your friendship with in the first place! Meanwhile, the people you have been friends with for the last fifteen years are being ignored because they are not on Facebook!"
Facebook is nothing but a jiggling,shiny set of car keys in front of a baby's face. The baby is distracted by the action in front of them, and momentarily forgets all about the other goings-on of their life. The entertainment requires no effort, but also results in nothing accomplished. Meanwhile, after the laughter, all that is left is a dirty diaper.
Facebook may be an entertaining way to follow the lives of people you once lost touch with. But it is no substitute for the real effort it takes to make and to keep a friend. Therefore, I would just like to say for the last time, on the record, "I will not sign up for Facebook. If you want to talk to me, pick up the damn phone."
Kelli, this poem is for you:
I will not Facebook in a box!
I will not Facebook with a fox!
I will not Facebook here or there!
I will not Facebook anywhere!
I would not, could not in a tree!
Not in a car! Now let me be!
I will not Facebook you lazy pile of Spam!
I will not Facebook Sam -I- Am !
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Bravo,
Mom
Jon, Jon, Jon...as usual u are quite right on the money! Facebook, if used appropriately, is a great tool for keeping in touch with those acquaintances. However, true friendship should be kept on the phone, in an email, in a coffee shop or restaurant, or even out on the deck over a couple of drinks!
Meanwhile, my dear, I do believe I emailed u about a month ago and, alas, I have yet to read a reply about your life :( Sad...although as one of my still favorite people, I shall forgive the oversight and anxiously await a heartfelt sentiment to magically appear in my humming black box. xoxoxo Michelle J
Jon, Jon, Jon!!! It's not passive at all. Just the other day I pinged a friend that I don't see much because her "update" indicated she was having a bad day. We went to lunch that day! This last weekend I posted a note inviting anyone over for Tuaca around the firepit.
Another plus: I dont' have to keep a separate email address book now, and if they update their email, they don't have to send me an email to tell me to change my address book.
Another thing: I learn things about people in my life that I may not have otherwise learned. The other day a friend posted a link to an article that I not only enjoyed, but also learned something about my friend's likes.
I have a couple friends that I play online Scrabble with...via Facebook. It's fun, and I get to say "hi" every day!
I guess my point is, I use it to enhance my friendships, not become complacent with them. I feel more involved in my friends' lives as a result - especially those that don't live where I do. It's not reasonable to stay in touch and message everyone every day, but with FB, I have a sense for things going on in their lives and feel much more connected to them.
If I didn't think it would benefit a friendship, I wouldn't have been bugging you all this time to join.
All I can say is...I'm sorry you have your mind closed to it. It's your loss...and mine.
I'll still read your blog religiously. :)
Here Here Nonna! Nicely put.
Well, so much for keeping my name out of your blogs.
Ya know, I had a fit about Facebook also when a friend suggested that I sign up. I thought "how stupid and how old are you??" Then a few more of my friends and family signed up, who don't live near me.
So I finally broke down and signed up, without any intention to keep it up.
Well, it turns out that I actually liked it. I was able to see pictures of family and friends that I hadn't seen in a while. It is just another way of emailing or even blogging in my opinion. It's not much different than what you are doing on here, if you think about it.
I was able to find friends that I thought about a lot over the years but wasn't able to locate.
Yes, they were friends and losing contact with a good friend can hurt sometimes. It's not always intentional but it happens.
People move, lose jobs, lose phone number and address, etc.. It has nothing to do with that person not being important to me, it's just part of life. Have you ever misplaced an email address?
When I moved to dreadful sin city, when I was little I lost touch with a lot people. I was young but they were my friends. Once I found some on Facebook, we would start writing back and forth to each other and then we'd call each other. We'd share memories together. I even flew to Portland to visit a friend that I haven't seen or spoken to in 20 years. It was like we had never been apart, except for some minor weight gain and wrinkles but that's another subject.
To this day we are emailing and calling each other all the time. She now lives in Colorado and I plan to see her and maybe some other "crazy" friends that live there in the near future....
Facebook is just a way to "get back" in touch with people that you miss or think about. A different way to enhance a current relationship other than the phone. It doesn't have to replace the phone, unless you want it to.
I guess my point is, sign up for the damn thing and shut up about it. Geez! You shouldn't rant about something that you haven't tried.
Try it Mikey, you'll like it.
Love you!
Post a Comment