Well, it's official. We have a new home in Denver, Colorado (Aurora to be exact). The closing took place yesterday at the sales office of the condominium complex.
I finally had a chance to meet the broker who represented the seller. He was so typically "Denver"...tall, thin, good-looking, with tassels on his shoes. Men in Denver like tassels on their shoes. I'm surprised that the accelerator pedals on their Saabs and Audis don't have special little clips just to keep their tassels from flopping around while they drive.
The stack of documents to be signed was an inch thick, but I was so exhausted both mentally and physically that I would have signed anything just to get out of there. It was just as if I had been in a car dealer's showroom all day long and had now been ushered into the finance manager's office. Pinstripe? Sure, I'll take it. Scotchguard? You bet. Extended warranty? Absolutely gotta have that. Protective undercoating? Where do I sign?
After I got about half way through the stack and had carefully read the note and deed of trust, I just completely stopped listening to their explanations of what I was signing. What difference did it make at this point? I just wanted out of there. For all I know, I just signed a document promising to have half of my paycheck automatically deducted and sent to fund a government program in Sweden to study the long term effects of cleaning one's belly button too often.
I got an email from Paul last night. He is hauling a big trailer full of what belongings we still have across the country and had stopped to spend the night in Macon, Georgia. I feel terrible for not being able to help him with this journey. I did so want to stop in Kansas to see the world's largest ball of twine. I guess I'll just have to leave that on my list of the top 100 places to see before I die.
Today, my job is to fill the house with various miscellaneous items that we no longer own. I had planned to get a Colorado driver's license today, but they have no offices that are open on Saturdays. It's probably better this way. I don't own any shoes with tassels and I'm sure I will need some in order to prove to the DMV that I am a resident of Colorado.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Tropical Storm Fay Update II
After nearly 24 hours, the power is back on. Now to pack the house for next week's move.
Wish us luck over the next day or two. The east side of the storm is now approaching. Sigh.
Wish us luck over the next day or two. The east side of the storm is now approaching. Sigh.
Tropical Storm Fay Update
David's sister-in-law has been kind enough to let me spend the afternoon at her house. She has power. We do not.
As Fay blew through west Florida yesterday. Debris began falling from trees. Even some large limbs are down. The power lines here are all suspended in air. As I tried to work yesterday, the power kept going on an off. After the 3rd or 4th time, I decided I was no longer going to be able to work. My computer struggled to keep rebooting itself. Finally around 4pm, the we heard a loud buzz and a "pop". Dave immediately said, "That's a keeper."
He was right. We have not had power since then. A call to the power company only results in a recording that basically says, "We know, we know." There is no ETA for when power will be restored.
So, the bottom line is that we are all unable to access email and our telephone/internet service is out as well. We have a generator that is keeping the fridge running, as well as a few small appliances.
We are all fine, though none of us have had much sleep in this heat and humidity. Though we do not have access to phone/internet services, our cell phones are all working. If you need us, please call the cell number that you have. They have not changed since we were in Las Vegas.
As Fay blew through west Florida yesterday. Debris began falling from trees. Even some large limbs are down. The power lines here are all suspended in air. As I tried to work yesterday, the power kept going on an off. After the 3rd or 4th time, I decided I was no longer going to be able to work. My computer struggled to keep rebooting itself. Finally around 4pm, the we heard a loud buzz and a "pop". Dave immediately said, "That's a keeper."
He was right. We have not had power since then. A call to the power company only results in a recording that basically says, "We know, we know." There is no ETA for when power will be restored.
So, the bottom line is that we are all unable to access email and our telephone/internet service is out as well. We have a generator that is keeping the fridge running, as well as a few small appliances.
We are all fine, though none of us have had much sleep in this heat and humidity. Though we do not have access to phone/internet services, our cell phones are all working. If you need us, please call the cell number that you have. They have not changed since we were in Las Vegas.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
The Eye Of The Storm
Well, as Fay peters out, so has the commotion surrounding the condo deal. The seller and I have come to a new agreement based on a lower price. The papers aren't signed yet, but they soon will be. The closing has been rescheduled for August 29th.
I'm off to Denver on the 28th, condo or no condo. I'll live in a shoebox if I have to, but I'll never come back to this rusty, backwater, banjo-playing, racist, bug-infested, fried-food eating, Jesus-freak place if I can help it. Well, maybe to change planes.
I'll send you all our new address and phone number as soon as I have it. In the meantime, our cell numbers will stay the same.
Wish us luck! I imagine it's going to get pretty stormy again before this is all said and done.
I'm off to Denver on the 28th, condo or no condo. I'll live in a shoebox if I have to, but I'll never come back to this rusty, backwater, banjo-playing, racist, bug-infested, fried-food eating, Jesus-freak place if I can help it. Well, maybe to change planes.
I'll send you all our new address and phone number as soon as I have it. In the meantime, our cell numbers will stay the same.
Wish us luck! I imagine it's going to get pretty stormy again before this is all said and done.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Serenity Now!
Today, I have just returned from meeting the buyer of my car to turn over the title. We all know why that took so long, so I won't go there.
In the meantime, the appraisal has been done on the condo. (It took nine days to get the appraisal back - a process which usually take three, but that's another topic.) Wells Fargo required the appraised value to be a certain dollar figure as a condition of loan approval. The appraisal came in $7,500 lower than the amount Wells Fargo required.
Today, the builder's agent is supposed to go back to the builder to see if they will lower their price. I see no reason why they wouldn't, as we all know this is a tough market. I doubt there are dozens of buyers all queued up and ready to buy this condo, if I back out. But if they don't want to lower the price, the deal is off. If they decide they will lower the price, then I'm supposed to be on a flight from Tampa to Denver on Wednesday, to close this loan.
Did I mention that there is a hurricane headed for Tampa that should arrive on Wednesday?
In the meantime, the appraisal has been done on the condo. (It took nine days to get the appraisal back - a process which usually take three, but that's another topic.) Wells Fargo required the appraised value to be a certain dollar figure as a condition of loan approval. The appraisal came in $7,500 lower than the amount Wells Fargo required.
Today, the builder's agent is supposed to go back to the builder to see if they will lower their price. I see no reason why they wouldn't, as we all know this is a tough market. I doubt there are dozens of buyers all queued up and ready to buy this condo, if I back out. But if they don't want to lower the price, the deal is off. If they decide they will lower the price, then I'm supposed to be on a flight from Tampa to Denver on Wednesday, to close this loan.
Did I mention that there is a hurricane headed for Tampa that should arrive on Wednesday?
Saturday, August 9, 2008
The Electronic Age Is A Myth
Well, as you know, I sold my car. In order to satisfy the fine folks at Wells Fargo, they require a copy of the transferred title. It's not good enough just to show that the car has been paid off. They are idiots.
I drove to Orlando last Friday morning to meet the buyer at his bank. He had a cashier's check issued, we signed the bill of sale. I took the check. He took the car. Done, right? Wrong.
The next step was to pay off the car loan. On Friday, I sent the cashier's check to my credit union which happens to be in Minnesota. After a Monday morning phone call, they found the overnight package and credited my account - for $5,000. They held the rest of the funds for five business days. (I hate the term "business days". Why don't they just say seven days?) Can anyone tell me what the point of a cashier's check is, if the bank is going to hold it for a week? Have any of you ever had a check that you wrote clear your bank less than a day or two after it was deposited? I didn't think so.
After more phone calls, I was able to get them to make an exception and release the funds. Now to pay off the finance company. So I called them and asked how to do this. "Just send us a cashier's check and we'll credit your account about five business days after we receive it.", they said. So, let's see. I get my bank to turn around and issue a cashier's check made out to the finance company. They mail it to me from Minnesota. That's three days. Then, I overnight the check to the finance company. That's another day. The finance company credits my account a week after they get the check. That's seven more days. Eleven more days to get the loan paid off? That's not working for me and I once again begin to work my way up the chain of employees, only this time at the finance company.
At last the finance company suggests that I wire the funds to them. They state that they will credit my account 24 hours after the wire arrives. "Great!", I say. Consider it done. I took down all of the wire information and contacted my bank to do the wire. "I'm sorry", my bank says, "but we don't have an authorization form to do wires on your behalf on file here at the bank. You'll have to send us that." UGH!! Okay, fine, email me the form. The form arrives. I sign it and run it down to the post office to send it back via overnight mail, where I wait behind the three post office losers I've already told you about.
The next day I call my bank. "Do you have the authorization form?", I ask. "Yes, we have it", they reply. Finally, now we can do the wire. The wire is done and my bank informs me that the finance company will have the funds in 2-4 hours. I wait 24 hours, just to be sure.
The next day, I call the finance company to see if they have the wire. "Oh, that takes about 72 hours for us to update your account." My face contorts and my fists instantly clench. "No. Unacceptable. Put me through to a supervisor." The supervisor gives me the same spiel, but I insist that a human being get on the phone right now, find my wire, and update my account. The supervisor promises to call me back the same day. No call comes.
The next day, the supervisor calls. "We have your wire and we have credited your account", she says. "Wonderful! When can I have the title?", I ask. "I'll transfer you to someone in the title department, please hold.", she replies.
The title department answers and I again ask when I can have my title. "Well, let's see. Your title is electronic and can be printed at your state DMV. All we have to do is just release the lien and you will be all set.", the agent tells me. "Awesome! Make it so, Number One!", I say. "Oh that will take about five business days.", she says.
Son of a bitch!
I drove to Orlando last Friday morning to meet the buyer at his bank. He had a cashier's check issued, we signed the bill of sale. I took the check. He took the car. Done, right? Wrong.
The next step was to pay off the car loan. On Friday, I sent the cashier's check to my credit union which happens to be in Minnesota. After a Monday morning phone call, they found the overnight package and credited my account - for $5,000. They held the rest of the funds for five business days. (I hate the term "business days". Why don't they just say seven days?) Can anyone tell me what the point of a cashier's check is, if the bank is going to hold it for a week? Have any of you ever had a check that you wrote clear your bank less than a day or two after it was deposited? I didn't think so.
After more phone calls, I was able to get them to make an exception and release the funds. Now to pay off the finance company. So I called them and asked how to do this. "Just send us a cashier's check and we'll credit your account about five business days after we receive it.", they said. So, let's see. I get my bank to turn around and issue a cashier's check made out to the finance company. They mail it to me from Minnesota. That's three days. Then, I overnight the check to the finance company. That's another day. The finance company credits my account a week after they get the check. That's seven more days. Eleven more days to get the loan paid off? That's not working for me and I once again begin to work my way up the chain of employees, only this time at the finance company.
At last the finance company suggests that I wire the funds to them. They state that they will credit my account 24 hours after the wire arrives. "Great!", I say. Consider it done. I took down all of the wire information and contacted my bank to do the wire. "I'm sorry", my bank says, "but we don't have an authorization form to do wires on your behalf on file here at the bank. You'll have to send us that." UGH!! Okay, fine, email me the form. The form arrives. I sign it and run it down to the post office to send it back via overnight mail, where I wait behind the three post office losers I've already told you about.
The next day I call my bank. "Do you have the authorization form?", I ask. "Yes, we have it", they reply. Finally, now we can do the wire. The wire is done and my bank informs me that the finance company will have the funds in 2-4 hours. I wait 24 hours, just to be sure.
The next day, I call the finance company to see if they have the wire. "Oh, that takes about 72 hours for us to update your account." My face contorts and my fists instantly clench. "No. Unacceptable. Put me through to a supervisor." The supervisor gives me the same spiel, but I insist that a human being get on the phone right now, find my wire, and update my account. The supervisor promises to call me back the same day. No call comes.
The next day, the supervisor calls. "We have your wire and we have credited your account", she says. "Wonderful! When can I have the title?", I ask. "I'll transfer you to someone in the title department, please hold.", she replies.
The title department answers and I again ask when I can have my title. "Well, let's see. Your title is electronic and can be printed at your state DMV. All we have to do is just release the lien and you will be all set.", the agent tells me. "Awesome! Make it so, Number One!", I say. "Oh that will take about five business days.", she says.
Son of a bitch!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Going Postal
I was at the post office today waiting impatiently to mail an overnight letter before the deadline for pickup. In front of me were three customers and only one mail clerk was available.
The first customer had a huge box full of little packages that each needed to be sent separately via certified mail. Heavy sigh. Okay, no problem. I was dealing with it. One. Two. Three. Four...
The next customer was a 20-something shaved head tattooed guy who wanted to buy a box, but couldn't find the right size on the shelves. He asked the clerk if she had any small boxes. She went to the back to see. She called out, asking him if he wanted a small box to ship videos in. He replied (and I quote), "I want the small one that's just like the bigger ones, only smaller." Five. Six. Seven....
The third customer, obviously a retiree, was a lady who had driven to the post office to find out if her letter needed one stamp or two. (I wonder how much gas she used driving to the post office to avoid wasting a stamp.) Eight. Nine. Ten... Then, after mailing her letter, the lady began to walk away. Ahhhhhh - my turn.
Oh crap, she's not done. The woman suddenly remembered that she needed stamps. But, she didn't want just any stamps. "Do you have any stamps with flowers on them?" "No, but I have Sinatra stamps and these other ones." "Ooh, these are cute!" "What else do you have?"
ARRGH!
The first customer had a huge box full of little packages that each needed to be sent separately via certified mail. Heavy sigh. Okay, no problem. I was dealing with it. One. Two. Three. Four...
The next customer was a 20-something shaved head tattooed guy who wanted to buy a box, but couldn't find the right size on the shelves. He asked the clerk if she had any small boxes. She went to the back to see. She called out, asking him if he wanted a small box to ship videos in. He replied (and I quote), "I want the small one that's just like the bigger ones, only smaller." Five. Six. Seven....
The third customer, obviously a retiree, was a lady who had driven to the post office to find out if her letter needed one stamp or two. (I wonder how much gas she used driving to the post office to avoid wasting a stamp.) Eight. Nine. Ten... Then, after mailing her letter, the lady began to walk away. Ahhhhhh - my turn.
Oh crap, she's not done. The woman suddenly remembered that she needed stamps. But, she didn't want just any stamps. "Do you have any stamps with flowers on them?" "No, but I have Sinatra stamps and these other ones." "Ooh, these are cute!" "What else do you have?"
ARRGH!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Sold!
Well, it looks like I have cleared the next hurdle toward buying the new home in Colorado. I sold my beloved “Cybil” - my 2006 Honda Civic SI. (I called her Cybil because she had two very distinct personalities on the road, depending on how hard I rode the accelerator.) Now, I’ll be sharing “Helga”, Paul’s Honda Pilot. Helga is a strong beasty broad with wide child-birthing hips. She in no way makes me appear young and thin to other drivers like Cybil did. Well, so much for those traffic light flirtations.
For those of you who might be buying a home in the near future, you might want to go and get your colonoscopy photographs now. Lenders these days are so strict that they’ll likely want to look up your ass.
So, next we’ll order the appraisal and see if the property is “worth” what the builder says it is. No worries there – if it comes in low, we’ll renegotiate the sales price, or scrap the deal. If it comes in high, then I’ll buy it at the already agreed upon price. There is also a mound of paperwork yet to be signed, all even before we get to the closing table.
If the next couple of weeks go smoothly, my last day in Florida will be August 21. I will fly to Colorado to sign the paperwork, and stay there until Paul arrives, working from a desk at my father's house. Paul will bring the few belongings that we moved to Florida with, by driving Helga yet again across the country. Road trip anyone?
For those of you who might be buying a home in the near future, you might want to go and get your colonoscopy photographs now. Lenders these days are so strict that they’ll likely want to look up your ass.
So, next we’ll order the appraisal and see if the property is “worth” what the builder says it is. No worries there – if it comes in low, we’ll renegotiate the sales price, or scrap the deal. If it comes in high, then I’ll buy it at the already agreed upon price. There is also a mound of paperwork yet to be signed, all even before we get to the closing table.
If the next couple of weeks go smoothly, my last day in Florida will be August 21. I will fly to Colorado to sign the paperwork, and stay there until Paul arrives, working from a desk at my father's house. Paul will bring the few belongings that we moved to Florida with, by driving Helga yet again across the country. Road trip anyone?
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