I just know something is wrong, and nobody will tell me

I believe that the best way to form an opinion is to listen to both sides of an argument. Instead of hunkering down in the liberal television foxhole that is MSNBC, I flip the channels to listen, even stopping on Fox News for a while to find out what those sneaky Iranians are up to. On Sunday, I read all of the newspaper editorials – not just the ones from that liberal lefty editor, but even the ones from the old folks who write to say we should pass a law forbidding baggy pants. When nobody is watching me, I’ll turn on the religious channel and listen to the preacher tell me about the many reasons I will surely burn in hell (unless I send a love gift). I wonder what I am missing when I only listen to NPR and MSNBC and I feel like I need to see how the other side thinks. And so I listen, I read, and I think.

The problem that I have with organized religions, political parties, and cable news channels is that they only tell one side of an argument, leaving the listener to either agree with them or to feel ostracized. Oh, they may pretend to be “fair and balanced”, but the liberal-leaning lefty always sits alone at the afternoon round table discussion, defending his arguments against the four other ferocious righties. He sits there like a silent lump, probably because he’s afraid to take a 5-inch heel in the eye from one of the patriotic prostitutes that sit closest to the camera, showing off their freshly shaved legs and American flag lapel pins. But I listen anyway, because it gives me the opportunity to think about what is being said and to hear the other side of an argument that I might not have heard before.

Lately, I have watched several of the Republican presidential debates in an effort to understand their side of the arguments. Occasionally, there is a small glimmer of truth in there surrounded by all that fire and brimstone. For example, during a recent Republican presidential debate, one of the candidates actually suggested that we bring our troops home to defend our own borders and stop running our deficit up trying to be the world’s police force. I was heartened a bit by his comments until one of the other candidates went on to say that we should legislate that all the married gay people be forced to get divorced, or some such fear-based nonsense.

Regardless of whether it is a conservative presidential debate, a conservative news channel round table, or an editorial written by a conservative senior citizen, it seems like I have heard it all before. I began to think about why every conservative conversation is starting to sound so familiar, regardless of the topic. It suddenly dawned on me that the single tie that binds the conservative platform is fear.

Conservatives are frightened. They are frightened of communists, of the Chinese and the Iranians, that gasoline prices will go up, that gay people will get married, that illegal immigrants will take their jobs, that the deficit will bankrupt our country, that the Socialists will take over the legislature, that the European Union or the Federal Reserve will try to create a one world currency, that the United Nations will try to impose its will on them. Conservatives are afraid that someone or something will take their stuff or their money or to try to change their minds about something. There is no shortage of boogeymen to keep them locked inside their homes watching Fox News, pulling their blankets further over their heads, and waiting for the Mayan calendar to end or for the middle-eastern flavor of the month to nuke us.

Conservatives are comforted only by the status quo – a lack of change. They like it when people look the same and dress the same. They flock to homogeneous suburban neighborhoods with houses painted in earth tones and surround themselves with plenty of weapons to defend themselves against anyone who wants to take their stuff or speak a different language.

But I am not frightened because I have begun to come to terms with the fact that change is inevitable. Although progress can be slowed, the world will keep changing. No matter who gets voted into office and no matter how long we try to maintain the status quo, in the end, nothing will stop the world around us from changing. We can hunker down inside our beige suburban houses, trying to shut out the changing world around us while we listen to the music of our youth. We can vote for geriatric Presidents to help us lead our legislature to victory over the evils of today’s changing world. Or we can simply accept that change is a part of life. And that’s what I have decided to do. And that is why I am not a conservative.

Most members of my family have a problem with anxiety, including me. We are a worried and nervous clan who have never slept soundly. Anxiety must be a genetic trait because one of our family stories is about the day my grandmother looked particularly worried. When asked what was bothering her, she replied anxiously, “I just know something is wrong and nobody will tell me.” People in my family actually worry that they have nothing to worry about! They thrive on worry and anxiety, conjuring up boogeymen where none exist.

I wonder if that’s why so many of them vote for Republicans.

p.s. - If you are a conservative and you are feeling particularly secure and calm today, you can find something to help whip up that comfortable old feeling of fear and anxiety that you thrive on by clicking here: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/index.html