Pray At The Pump

Last week, our local paper featured an article about a group of Christians who all decided to gather around a gas pump, join hands, and pray for lower prices.
This is just wrong in so many ways that I don't know where to begin.

Personally, I consider myself to be agnostic. I believe in the possibility of the existence of God, but I feel that I need some evidence. But let’s put that aside. Let's assume that there is an omnipotent being dressed all in white, with a long beard and a booming voice, somewhere out there running the universe. Okay, but is God a cosmic ATM? A magic genie that grants wishes? If I close my eyes and click my heels and just believe, will gas prices come down? Lets pray in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up faster. C’mon folks.

And why did the local paper feel that this was a newsworthy story? We are all aware that gas prices are high and we are all aware that the Baptists run amok in this part of the country. One need only to read a few bumpers on some of the enormous gas-guzzling vinyl-topped cars around here to see that.

While we’re at it, what do these religious bumper stickers mean anyway? Think about it, what do they really mean? Isn’t the point of religion to find a personal and deep meaning about our existence on this planet? Isn’t the point of religion to dedicate yourself to becoming a loving person who realizes that we are not individually the be-all and end-all of our existence? Is the back of one’s car really the appropriate place to express such deeply held beliefs?

I wonder if any of these bumper sticker people ever had another driver come up to them and say, “Gosh, I had really lost my way in life, but now that I’ve read your bumper sticker, I’ve been found. Thank you for putting that shiny fish on the back of your car, otherwise I’d have spent my whole life as a heathen.”

I think these bumper stickers really mean, “I’m better than you.” Here’s a bumper sticker on my imaginary car. Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

Well, this blog is one more thing I’ll have to burn in hell for. You'd better pray for me.