Do Not Attempt

This morning, I saw a television ad for a video game that simulates snowboarding. The ad begins with a crowd of about twenty snowboarders clinging to each other, while the guys at the top of the heap hold on to the bottom of a helicopter. The helicopter then lifts off from the top of a skyscraper with the clinging mass of idiots, we assume toward some mountain where they can all go snowboarding.

At the bottom of the ad in small white letters is the phrase "Do not attempt." Really!? Really!?

Okay, let's take a moment to think about this. You and nineteen of your idiot friends dress in your best expensive snowboarding outfits. Holding snowboards, you all somehow make it past security and climb to the top of a skyscraper. Then, you hire a helicopter to land, but nobody gets inside. Instead, you are all so excited to go snowboarding, that you all just start jumping toward the bottom of the helicopter as it lifts off, clinging to each other. Of course the pilot is completely unaware that nobody has gotten inside the helicopter, and that twenty people are hanging from the bottom, lifts off and carries you all away.

I say, if you and your friends are dumb enough and rich enough to make this happen, do us all a favor and go for it. Help us rid the world of snowboarders.