The Facebook Experiment Is Over

So there I was those years ago, refusing to get caught up in the Facebook frenzy. But my friends begged and pleaded for me to join. They said that it would be such a wonderful tool for staying in touch. So I succumbed.

For a while everything was okay. I was receiving "friend requests" right and left and it was a lot like the old television show, "This Is Your Life." Old acquaintances were coming out of the woodwork; folks from high school, old childhood neighbors, you name it. I was even contacted by the girl who let me kiss her at church when I was four or five years old. I no longer kiss girls or attend church, but it was fun to reconnect anyway.

But after about a year, I noticed something. Nobody ever posted anything important. Hell, most of it wasn't even interesting. The fact that your dog took a poop shaped like Abe Lincoln did not add any value to my life. And then there was the religious and political tripe that many of my "friends" thought it would be great for me to know about. It wasn't. And I'll never forget the incredibly racist joke from a distant relative in my email inbox. I think it was supposed to be funny, but I was horrified.

And so, dear friends, I have decided to leave Facebook. I will not be joining GooglePlus, MySpace, YourSpace, FacePlus, or GoogleBooks either. I will not be linking in and I will not be requesting to be your friend. If we are friends, then we are friends. And for those of you that truly are my friends, you don't need my crummy picture beside the crummy pictures of your other friends at the edge of a web page for you to know that we are friends. You just know it.

But in case you are unaware of our friendship, here is a list of my friends and some of the other people I love: Laura, David, Dennis, Jim, Marcy, Renee, Mike and Cliff, Kelly, Kelli, Ronnie and Brenda, Kit, Vicki, Bob, Maria, Barb, Becky aka "Little Joe", Big Daddy Bruce, Beth aka "Ralph", Lisa, Deb, Julie, Detta, Chris and Julia, Rose, and Paul.

If you see your name listed here, you can relax and sleep well. Some of these names are used by multiple friends. If you are wondering if you are the specific "Joe" that I have listed, then no, you are not - because if you were, you wouldn't be wondering. If you don't see your name here, but think it should be, it is never too late to make the list. Just reach out and be a friend.

Now, as for my blog. This is a space for my political and religious diatribes. I will also share with you the shape of any President or celebrity that my dog's poop resembles. If you don't want to read it, don't come here. But I secretly hope you do.

Here's to my friends. I wish you all the very best 2012.